A Constellation of Selves

On non-fabrication and being a many-tentacled beast

Happy New Moon!

Last month, during our community sit, we dove into the three flavors of Non-doing (non-fabrication, non-distraction, and non-meditation) — practices that help cut through compulsivity to get to the essence of conscious experience. This week (by community request!) we’re honing in on the first of these: non-fabrication…

A portrait of one of my many personas by the incredible Suspiria Vilchez

Like many of you, I’ve been a lot of different people in one lifetime: science nerd, anarchic rapper, Buddhist Lama, plant guru, electro diva, entrepreneur. Each identity is like a limb, carrying out a different mission, scratching a different itch. It wasn’t until my music PR team asked me to write down my life story—“cohesively”—that I realized just how wide these limbs stretch.

We were prepping for an album launch, and the PR dudes wanted a neat, linear narrative to pitch to the media. I tried. Honestly, I did. But I could not compress my life into a single story arc. “I am not a linear being!” I protested. “We are all multi-narrative creatures living a zillion lives at once!” This did not go over well.

Here’s what I could’ve added if I really wanted to grind their gears: Every story I’ve ever lived is a fabrication. (And theirs too! And yours!) Not in the sense of being inauthentic but in the sense of being a narrative woven from the raw ambiguity of experience to help make sense of the world and find a place in it. Our stories are tools, not truths. In contemplative practice, “non-fabrication” is about seeing through these mental constructs —our identities, beliefs, perceptions—and recognizing them as just that: constructs.

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Think about it: how many selves do you carry? “I am an artist.” “I am a parent.” “I am a fidgety weirdo.” These are constellations of experience held together by labels. Each is functionally true in its relative context, but it’s never the full picture of who you are. As Nagarjuna said, “All philosophies are mental fabrications. There has never been a single doctrine by which one could enter the true essence of things.” Labels, no matter how nicely they fit, are always limited and partial.

Our personas—including the ones we are in private—are useful! They help us relate to others, get things done, and make sense of our experiences. But if we cling to them as non-negotiable truths (what we in the entertainment biz call “believing your own hype”), they become prisons.

Here’s the upside: if we can engage in this process of fabrication consciously, there’s no end to the impact we can have in the world. As Tasha the Amazon, I can do things that Lama Tasha can’t. I can connect with totally different kinds of people, build counter-culture movements, and spread good vibes in inaccessible spaces. As Tasha the Plant Nerd (on my weird YT show Floralogic), I can inspire people to fall in love with nature through wonderment and sillies. That’s something Tasha the Amazon doesn’t specialize in.

My practice is to hold these selves loosely, not letting them become rigid, not forgetting that I am more—that I am the open, cognizant awareness from which each persona draws its spark. But that’s easier said than done, my friends. There’s lots of pressure to be a two-dimensional, nicheable being—to believe your own hype.

When my agent asked me to concoct my life story as a singular narrative, it felt like I was being asked to condense my experience artificially. To declare what parts were “real” and to ignore or assimilate the others. Any multi-hyphenate knows that this is a fool’s errand.

Practicing non-fabrication isn’t about discarding our many identities and belief structures. It’s about seeing through them even while we live through them. On the cushion, we can practice by letting go of fabrications in body, speech, and mind:

• We release the rigidities of body—the idea that we need to sit, breathe, or carry ourselves in a certain way.

• We release how we talk to ourselves, the inner dialogues that reinforce certain identities and deny others.

• We release the fixed ideas we hold in our minds. We let go of curating and fussing over everything.

The more we dip into that liminal zone between selves, the more we find that our moment-to-moment experience is like a spinning galaxy with an empty hole at the center—just spacious awareness, no fixed self. What a relief!

From that place, we’re free to conjure up new, more effective selves that get good stuff done in the world — new healed selves that spread more love, new courageous selves that go where others fear to tread. We get to shake loose the crusty old narratives we’ve been carrying around unconsciously.

So here’s my invitation: as you move through this month, notice the fabrications you hold onto tightly. In what ways are they helpful? In what ways are they untrue?

Then join me in two weeks for our community sit, where we’ll practice releasing through the layers of fabrication and ask ourselves, “Who’s the one making all these stories up anyway?”

September Meditation Session

TIME: Tuesday, Sept 17 @ 8-9 PM EST

COST: This session is open to everybody! Please consider paying what you can within your means.

REGISTER HERE ✨

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That’s all for now!
You’ll hear from me again on the Full Moon.

❤️ Tasha

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(PS. In the meantime, you can join me & Jeff Warren on our weekly practice excursions over at The Mind Bod Adventure Pod!)